Don't dissect your loved ones

Pretty self explanitory.
We really should not dissect people we care about.
It is just so easy to do when you get to know people's insides.
Or when you think you know people's insides.
I summed up my wife's brother the other day. It hurt her reall bad. I can't imagine what it would have done to him. I thought that what I was doing was good, untill I saw the fruit, the response of my wife to what I had said.
I have really been wondering how to build people up instead of dissect them. Instead of breaking their pain and problems and life down into emotionless manageable safe units of logic.
If you take the feeling out of something it tends to dies. When you dissect things they die. The life escapes them! And isn't that what we really want to know about. About Life. We know to much about death.
I want to look at Jesus and see how he built people up. How he freed people with his words. How God breathed life into people.
I see Jesus accepting the woman at the well instead of dissecting her and labeling her a samaritan.
I see Jesus not condemning a woman by dissecting her actions and deeds and calling her to be something more. Perhaps to be more of who she already was. HOLY. Go and sin no more is like saying you have permission to be who you really are. The power to be who you really are.

How do we give people what they need?
Sarah and I went into an all black restaurant not to long ago. When we opened the door everyone quit talking. There was an old lady serving chicken and dumplings, candiedyams, greens and smothered pork chops OH! and cornbread. She also perceived that we needed to feel accepted. She was very warm to us. She also percieved that I needed to carry Sarah's food. hahahahaha! When Sarah went to leave the buffet with her tray the lady looked at her an said loud enough for me to hear, "I know he is going to carry that for you." and I did.

I don't think people need to be dissected.
I think that they need to be cared for. Sometimes care hurts because you are putting pressure on a wound.
The difference is that one causes life.

I am not saying don't be honest or to not tell someone the truth. I'm just saying don't kill your friends.

I've killed some of my friends. Both unintentionally and on purpose. I might have killed some of you. I am sorry. Call me. It might make you feel better. It might free us both. You may allow me to be forgiven. I have felt how hard it is to allow someone to be forgiven that has hurt me. It even feels better if they really want forgivenss. The greater the guilt the greater the percieved power over them.

I really want to my words to be living and active.

George Washington, our first president, was a bad ass.
At the begining of America there was a rebellion brewing within the mistreated and unpaid soldiers of the continental army. They asked Washington to be on board. He showed up at their meeting and did the meet and greet and then asked for permission to speak. Some historians say America was saved by George and his spectacles. George picked up a candle so he could read a document to the gathered soldiers. He held up the letter but did not speak. It was a tense moment. Then George pulled out his spectacles and said something to the affect of I hope these 8 years of war has not made your vision as poor as mine. Basically his words were, I didn't fight for 8 years for back pay and a pension. He went beyond greed and self centerdness to the place where great stories are born. Men cried when they saw their strong leader show weakness. They saw what they had forgotten. What they had fought for in the first place. Something about Washington made people care. Maybe it was because he cared. He did not pick them apart, but reminded them what they were part of. pretty cool.

well time for me to get a nap. i made the best brisket I have ever tasted. It happened yesterday quite by accident. It was so good that Sarah had to tell me to stop eating and come to bed. I ate 3/4 of a head of cabbage too.
matt.