Out of Africa

The itallicized portion below is from a commentary on the novel/movie "Out of Africa." I have tried to verify whether or not the Masai people die (as stated below) in prison. I have not been able to do so yet, although, I can tell you that the Masai people have very few cavities in their teeth about (.5%).

Dying at Will
Isak Dinesen frequently references her belief that native humans and even native animals can choose to die if they want. This trend is seen among the Masai, who die within three months if put in prison, with the stubborn ox whose leg a lion ate off, and with Kitosch who willed himself to die. The narrator also hopes that the giraffes bound for Hamburg will die, so they shall not be trapped in a German menagerie.

Dinesen's belief that natives can will themselves to die relies upon her belief of their essential nobility, as well as their harmonious connection to their surroundings. The Masai, for example, die in prison because they cannot live without their glorious plains. In the same way, the stubborn ox resists having his spirit broken and prefers death. Dinesen believes that death is a more valid alternative to being oppressed. She sees the native ability to die as a way they can maintain their freedom, no matter how much Europeans want to control them.
Dinesen's praise of willful death is slightly romantic. One can also suggest that it fails to fairly value the importance of a native life. Nevertheless, the motif extends from Dinesen's idea that Africa is a pastoral landscape, where its animals and peoples live in harmony with their surroundings and therefore cannot be without them.


The part that I really liked is death being a more valid alternative to being oppressed.
I have certainly felt that at times recently. My struggles usually come in the form of guilt and helplessness. My struggles are compounded by my way of fixing how I feel. Drinking and Drugs.
In Alcoholics Annonymous and Narcotics Annonymous they used to tell me that "Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable."

Well I feel helpless and trapped so I drink to fix it and at some point I feel more helpless and trapped. I like to call this Fixing problems with problems.

The stories of Peter and Judas are pretty good examples.
Both men messed up.Both turned their back on God Both wanted to make up forit.
I think that Judas tried to pay with guilt by hanging himself...hanging on to his guilt. (I cannot remember if it was Peter Hiett or Ryan Mohrman who spoke about this, but thats where you can find more developed ideas on paying with guilt and Judas.)
Then you have Peter.

I read an article a while ago on the cleansing rituals involved in Jewish offerings. The sin offering (chatat) is a very interesting one. If a clay pot was used for the sin offering it had to be smashed. Anything that touched the sin offering was made holy, but for some reason the pot still gets smashed. We are compared to Earthen vessels in the bible. Clay Pots. Judas and Peter both got smashed. They were both broken men. I do not know what will come of Judas, but we see Jesus loving and forgiving Peter. I think that Jesus did a redemptive work in both of these men's lives.

Bottom line. I really need Jesus. I have power in my life. Power to die for sure. But I want to live and I need Jesus to really live how I want to Live.

Some say don't use alcohol as a crutch. A comedian said "Crutches are a good thing they help people walk!" Another Comedian said alcohol can't be a crutch because "crutches help people walk!" Well either way I am getting tired of limping. I want a pastoral landscape where animals and people live in harmony with their surroundings and therefore cannot be without him.

love, matt.